mahiwagang iskratspeyper

Episode 1: Strange Love

[Scene opens with a car driving down the road with a girl and boy inside - we hear snoring - the girl moves her hand over and starts to rub the guy]
Boy: What the hell are you doing?
Girl: Heh, I’m bored.
[she unzips his fly]
Boy: Oh, You get bored pretty easily.
Girl: Only with you, darling.
[she giggles - He grunts]
Boy: Holy Shit, baby. Stop.
[Tire screeching - They pull into the Grabbit Quick where you can hear a TV on]
Nan Flannagan: We’re citizens. We pay taxes. We deserve basic civil rights just like everyone else.
Bill Maher: Yeah, but… I mean come on, doesn’t your race have a rather sorted history of exploiting and feeding off innocent people. For centuries.
Nan Flannagan: Three points. Number one. Show me documentation. It doesn’t exist. Number two. Doesn’t your race have a history of exploitation. We never owned slaves Bill, or detonated nuclear weapons. And most importantly point number three. Now that the Japanese has perfected synthetic blood which satisfies all of our nutritional needs there is no reason for anyone to fear us. I can assure you every member of our community is now drinking synthetic blood. That is why we decided to make our existence known. We just want to be part of main stream society.
[Audience is applauding her speech - The boy and girl come in laughing with each other]
Girl: Hi. Ya’ll have true blood. For real.
Boy: You get vamps in here. I didn’t even think we had any in Louisiana.
Employee: You didn’t know. That New Orleans is a Mecca for the vampire.
Boy: Seriously. I mean, New Orleans. Even after Katrina. Didn’t they all drown.
Employee: Vampires can not drown. Because we do not breathe.
Boy: Dude. No harm intended. We’re just a little drunk.
Employee: Nice, I could use a cocktail.
[The girl starts to cry - The employee starts to laugh at them]
Employee: Score. I totally had you guys.
Girl: That wasn’t funny.
Employee: Yeah, it was.
Boy: No, Kelly. That was pretty funny.
Guy in Store: I didn’t think it was funny.
Boy: What, We don’t care what you think. Dude, do you know where we can score some V juice.
Girl: Gross, Brad no.
Employee: How much do you need?
Girl: I knew this girl who knew this girl who did vamp blood during Greek week she liked clawed her own face off.
Boy: Seriously. I can pay good money.
Guy in Store: Okay, you two need to leave.
Boy: Okay, Fuck you, Billy Bob.
Guy in Store: Fuck me. I’ll fuck you, boy. I’ll fuck ya and then I’ll eat ya.
[his fangs come out]
[the boy and girl run out of the store]
[customer brings a 4 pack of true blood to the counter. Employee looks scared]
Guy in Store: You ever pretend to be one of us again and I’ll kill ya. Got it?
[he shakes his head yes]
Employee: Yeah.
Guy in Store: Have a nice day now.

[opening credits]

[country music playing as we see an outside shot of Merlotte’s Bar and Grill - As Sookie is delivering things to tables you can hear what they are saying.] Man 1: Just let me have just one beer tonight, Jesus. Just one beer. That is all I need and just give me the strength to say no to beer number two.
Woman 1: Not after what I did for you last night. Which by the way was disgusting, although I kind of enjoyed it.
Boy: Who are these people and what the hell is this music. I feel like I’m trapped in some hillbillys oxy-cotton nightmare. I can’t wait to get out of this poor town. Boy: How does she know what I was thinking. That’s weird.
Sookie: I’ll get ya some ketchup.
[voices are echoing as Sookie closes her eyes and concentrates to make the voices go away - we see Sam looking at her with a smile]

[door beeps]
Tara: Welcome to Super Save A Bunch.
Woman: Hi, I’m looking for that thick translucent plastic sheeting. The kind they hang in front of the doors of walk in refrigerators.
Tara: Ah, We don’t sell that here. You could try Home Depot.
Woman: I’ve tried them already. They sent me here. I can not believe that you don’t have that stuff… I don’t even know what it’s called…
Tara: Sorry.
Woman: Well, You’re suppose to have everything.
Tara: Well We don’t have that stuff, that you don’t even know what’s its called.
Woman: Your web site says that this is the most well stocked store in five parishes. Now I just drove over an hour from Marthasville.
Tara: Uh-huh. Does our web site have a phone number?
Woman: I suppose it does.
Tara: So… it never occurred you, before you drove an hour to pick up the phone and call us to see if we stocked what ever the hell it is you’re looking for?
Woman: well I think that if a business chooses to classify itself as.
Tara: Why didn’t you just find it on line and have it delivered to your house. Or were you just looking for an excuse to wear those ugly ass clothes?
Woman: I would like to speak to your manager.
Tara: Fine, Waylon! Trust me you’re not getting me fired. I am quitin’. You were just the fucking catalyst and for that I ought thank you.
Woman: You are a very rude young woman.
Tara: This ain’t rude. This is upptied.
[Tara smacks Waylon]
Tara: That’s for pattin’ my ass to much. I’m goin’ get my baby’s daddy who just got out of prison to come and kick your teeth in.
Waylon: Jesus, Tara. Please don’t do anything…
Tara: Oh my God. I’m not serious. You pathetic racist. I don’t have a baby. Damn. I know ya’ll had to be stupid but do you have to be that stupid. Shit. Fuck this job.

[Merlott’s - the phone is ringing]
Sam: Evening. Merlotte’s. Hey, Tara. Yeah, She’s right here.
Sookie: I’m so sorry, Sam. She knows not to call me at work.
Sam: Sookie, It’s okay. You don’t abuse a privilege like Arlene does.
Arlene: Hey, I heard that.
Sam: Well, I wish you would hear that.
Arlene: Please. Sam, I have kids.
Sookie: This had better be an emergency.
Tara: I just quit my job.
Sookie: Again?
Tara: I can’t work for assholes.
Sookie: Well, I’m glad you can afford to be so picky. Miss say-hello-to-the-rest-of-us.
Tara: Oh, Shut up. Sam is not an asshole and he’s totally in love with you.
Sookie: Tara, He is my boss.
Tara: Jesus. Look, you need to lighten up.
Sookie: You know I hate it when you use the J word. Now, I gotta go.
Tara: I’m coming over. I need a margarita. A big one.
Sookie: Bye.
[engine starts]

Dawn: Mack and Denise Rattray are just about to sit down in your section.
Denise: What the fuck?
Sam: Don’t let ‘em get to you, Chere. They’re not worth it.
Dawn: Two tecates, sam. Mack: Hell, there ain’t nothing on this menu ain’t gonna give me the runs. Damn son of a – Sookie: What can I do for y’all tonight? Mack: You can wrap your sweet lips around my slim reaper that’s what you can do. Mack: Why don’t we just start out with a pitcher of Bud? Mack: You can hop aboard the Mack express and ride it all the way to heaven. Sookie: Alrighty. Anything else? Denise: What the hell is wrong with her? Denise: Onion rings, with mustard. Denise: She’s pathetic like a dog that’s been kicked too many times and keeps coming back for more. Sookie: Coming right up.
[music playing on stereo]
Denise: I think she’s retarded.
Arlene: Honey, if Rene tells you you’re too young to watch a scary movie on HBO, then I’m siding with him.
[Sam comes up and clears his throat]
Arlene: I know he’s not your daddy, but your daddy does not wanna live with us anymore. Remember? You want a time-out? Because I can give you one. I’d be fine with it.
Sookie: Onion rings. And if you drop a few of them on the floor. That’s fine with me.
Lafayette: Got it. Oh, Sookie. Chicka-chicka-bow-wow. You’re lookin’ like a porn star with that tan. And pink lipstick. You got a date?
Sookie: No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.
[Lafayette laughs]
Lafayette: Yes, girl, that’s it. These damn rednecks are suckers for packaging.
Sookie: And I get even bigger tips. When I act like I don’t have a brain in my head. But, if I don’t, they’re all scared of me.
Lafayette: They ain’t scared of you, honey child. They scared of what’s between your legs.
Sookie: Lafayette. That’s nasty talk. I won’t listen to that.
[Arlene is laughing]
Arlene: Do you even know what’s between a woman’s legs, Lafayette?
Lafayette: I know every man, whether straight, gay, or George ma-fuckin’ Bush is terrified of the pussy.
Sookie: Lafayette!
Dawn: Oh, What are we talking about?
Lafayette: Pussy.
Arlene: Hey, listen, not everybody is gay, okay? Not everybody wants to have sex with you.
Lafayette: Oh, You would be surprised Arlene. People you know.
[Arlene scoffs]
Lafayette: That’s all I’m saying.
Dawn: Well, I don’t wanna have sex with you.
Arlene: Uh. Me neither.
Lafayette: Shit. Y’all bitches don’t know what you’re missin’. I got six gears on these hips.
Dawn: Uh. No, baby. You don’t know what you’re missing. You can watch her walk away. Make you wanna slap it? Huh, you wanna slap it?
Lafayette: Everybody knows it. Everybody been there. Ain’t that right – - ? John’s been there.
Dawn: I’m slappin’ it. Take these, baby. Peaches and cream.
Lafayette: I’ll give you a little cocoa. Little cocoa. Ain’t that right, John? Shit.

[A TV is on in Maudette Picken’s place]
Man on TV: Look, I’m a pretty nice guy. But I have, like, a little bit of an edge to me. Got started at a young age. Started getting into fights…
Girl on TV: Really?
Man on TV: Used to get into a lot of trouble. Got kicked out of a couple schools. Type of thing.
Girl on TV: Wow.
Man on TV: Partying in high school.
[moaning]
Maudette: Yes. Yes.
[moaning]
[Jason sees the bite mark on her leg]
Jason: What the fuck is this?
maudette: Oh, it’s just a… mosquito bite.
Jason: You had sex with a vampire?
Maudette: Okay. Once. I went to that vampire bar down in Shreveport. Look, I was broke and he paid me a lot of money.
Jason: You a hooker, Maudette? Because I don’t pay for it. Never have, never will.
Maudette: Well, I don’t charge for it, neither. I mean, he offered me a thousand dollars to bite me. What was I gonna do? Say no to a thousand bucks?
Jason: What was it like?
Maudette: Scary.
Jason: You know, I read in Hustler everybody should have sex with a vampire at least once before they die.
Maudette: Uh-oh. Once was enough for me. He was way too rough. I mean, I like to be rough sometimes. But – -
Jason: You like it rough?
Maudette: Yeah. Why not? You know, it’s not like it’s gonna kill me. And if it does, well, then I won’t care, will I?
[Jason starts to get dressed to leave]
Jason: Right. Well, uh…
Maudette: I videotaped it.
Jason: What?
Maudette: With the vampire.
[She chuckles]
Maudette: You wanna watch? Hmm?
[Jason tosses his clothes to the side]

[At Merlotte’s]
Tara: My life sucks.
Sookie: Oh, Tara, don’t you be feeling sorry for yourself. That’s just lazy.
Tara: Well, why can’t I keep a job?
Sookie: Maybe because you can’t keep your mouth shut.
Tara: Bitch, who asked you?
[Tara winks at Sookie - Sookie laughs at her]
Sam: How you doing, Sookie?
Sookie: I’ve had better nights.
Sam: Yeah? Anything I can do to improve this one for you?
[Rumbling - Sookie turns around and sees Bill enter the Bar and Grill -There is music playing as Bill and Sookie stare at each other for the first time - Sookie laughs]
Sookie: Oh, my God. I think Marlotte’s just got its first vampire.
Sam: I think you’re right.
Sookie: Can you believe it? Right here, in Bon Temps? I’ve been waiting for this to happen since they came out of the coffin two years ago.
[Sam sighs as Sookie jumps to go to Bill’s table]
Sookie: Hi, and what – -? What can I get for you tonight?
Bill: Do you have any of that synthetic bottled blood?
Sookie: No, I – I’m so sorry. Sam got some a year ago, but nobody ever ordered it, so it went bad. You’re our first. (whispering) vampire.
Bill: Am I that obvious?
Sookie: I knew the minute you came in. I can’t believe nobody else around here seems to.
Bill: He does.
Sookie: Oh, don’t worry about Sam, he’s cool. I know for a fact that he supports the Vampire Rights Amendment.
Bill: How progressive of him.
[Bill scoffs]
Sookie: Well, anything else you drink?
Bill: Actually, no. But you can get me a glass of red wine so I have a reason to be here.
Sookie: Well, whatever the reason… I’m glad you are.
Mack: Don’t mind Sookie none, mister. She’s crazy as a bedbug.
Sookie: I’ll just get your wine for you.
Mack: My name’s Mack Rattray and this here’s my wife, Denise.
Denise: Hello.
Bill: Good evening.

[Maudette’s place]
[growling]
[we see that Jason and Maudette are watching the videotape of Maudette and the vampire]
[grunting is coming from the video]
[Maudette starts to service Jason while he is watching the video. This makes his head lean back. When he looks up at the roof, he realizes that the video was made in Maudette’s home]

[Merlotte’s Bar and Grill]
[sookie sighs]
Sookie: What a bitch. You really think that she’s gonna let him bite her?
Tara: Do you know how many people are having sex with vampires these days? Sometimes those people disappear.
Sookie: No. He’s not like that.
Tara: Okay, Okay. You spoke to him for, like, a minute. You don’t know how many people he sucked the blood out of over the last however many centuries he’s been alive.
Sookie: But he’s so not scary.
Tara: Sweet Jesus in heaven. Sookie, he is a vampire.
Sookie: Yeah, but the synthetic blood has everything – -
Sam: Are you willing to pass up all your favorite foods and spend the rest of your life drinking slim-fast?
Denise: I mean, people have always discriminated against me.
Mack: Oh, boy, have they ever. Ha- ha.
Denise: And just because I never felt like being what society wanted me to be. You know?
Mack: Me neither. Ha ha. Me neither.
Denise: So we know what it’s been like for you.
[Mack chuckles nervously]
Sookie: Can I get y’all anything else?
[rumbling]
Mack: I’m fine. Densie: He’s probably got 11 or 12 pints in him. Holy shit! That’s almost 200 ounces. I bet we could get 500 an ounce in Dallas. Fuck me, that’s $10,000. Sweet Jesus. Sookie: I’m gonna bring y’all a free round of beer, okay? Mack: What the hell is your problem, dimwitted… Sookie: Don’t you go anywhere. Mack: I guess you are retarded. Just like everybody says you are. Sookie: Tara. Tara. We have to stop them.
Tara: Stop who? Why?
Sookie: The Rattrays. They’re gonna drain him and sell his blood. We have to stop them.
Tara: No, we do not. We don’t have to get anywhere near that vampire.
Sookie: Tara, I am very disappointed in you and your small-mindedness.
Sam: Sookie. The vampire can take care of himself. I promise you.
[She looks and sees that they are gone from the bar]
Sookie: Shit.
Sam: Tara, you know how to tend a bar?
Tara: No, uh-oh.
Sam: Fake it.
Tara: Shit.

[Outside of Merlotte’s]
[We see Sookie running outside. She stops and closes her eyes. She is trying to “hear” where they are] Denise: Look at this. This is so thick. Damn, this is gonna bring a pretty penny. We should keep some for ourselves. Although, if Mack freaks out on me again, I am so through with him. [Sookie figures out where they are. She picks up a chain out of a truck bed]

[Scene cuts to Jason and Maudette again. This time they are going at it the same way she was in the video with the vampire.]
[groaning]
Jason: You like this?
Maudette: Uh-huh.
Jason: Huh? Being punished?
Maudette: Yeah
Jason: Yeah you’re a sick little vampire fucker. You like that, Pickens?
[During this exchange the camera pans down to show that she is videotaping them going at it.]
[moaning]
Jason: Come on.
Maudette: Yeah.
Jason: You look at me. Look at me. You let a dead man fuck you?
Maudette: Yeah.
Jason: Huh? Fuckin’ disgust me.
[groaning]
Maudette: Yeah.
Jason: It’s too bad I don’t have fangs, huh?
Maudette: Yeah.
Jason: Rip your fuckin’ throat out.
[Jason reaches up and starts to choke her.]
[She starts to wheezes]

[cut back to Merlotte’s where it is showing Bill on the ground with a silver chain over his wrists and neck to hold him. Denise is hooking up tubes that are draining Bill’s blood.]
Mack: Hurry. We should’ve taken him home.
Denise: Too dangerous. Where are we gonna hide a dead vampire in our trailer?
Mack: Well, at least we wouldn’t be out in the fuckin’ open like this. I just need some v-juice. I need it bad. My body is starting to hurt and I just need to get it in me.
Denise: Goddamn it, Mack, you’re a fuckin’ drug addict. Do you know that?
Mack: Woman, would you just shut the fuck up? Sometimes, when you talk, this is what I hear; a-yada-yada-yada…
[They don’t see Sookie coming up behind them. Until Sookie is hitting Mack with the chain.]
Denise: Mack.
[grunts]
Mack: You crazy bitch.
[Mack pulls out a knife. And Sookie throws the chain around his neck.]
[grunting]
[Sookie gets the knife and holds it on Denise.]
Denise: This ain’t your business, you stupid cunt.
Sookie: Now, see, that just proves how low-rent you really are.
[Mack is still gasping]
Denise: You have any idea who you’re messing with? You don’t wanna be on my bad side.
Sookie: I’m not so sure you even have another side you no-account backwoods trash.
[Denise goes to get the blood and sookie stops her]
[Mack is still gasping]
Sookie: Uh-uh. Do not even think about taking that blood.
Denise: I will kill you for this.
Sookie: Get out. Now.
Denise: Come on, Mack. This ain’t over. Come on.
Sookie: Yeah, yeah.
Denise: Get up, Mack. Why can’t you take that funkin’ thing off? I ain’t got time for a fuckin’ cripple because I’m getting out of here one way or the other?
[muffled]
Mack: You – - how else am I gonna – -?
[Sookie takes the chain off of Bill slowly. As she does the wounds start to heal. Bill inhales sharply. Then sighs.]
Sookie: Shut up.
[Vehicle approaching. Sookie pulls Bill out of the way of the car.]
Sookie: Quick, with your feet.
Denise: I’m-a going get you, bitch!
Sookie: Oh, bless your heart. I am so sorry I didn’t get here faster. You’ll be okay in a minute, right? D-do you want me to leave?
Bill: No. They might come back and I can’t fight yet.
[A dog barks and comes up to them]
Sookie: Well, hey, there, dog.
[The dog continues to bark]
[Sookie giggles when the dog starts to lick her. The dog leaves.]
Bill: He’s checkin’ on you.
Sookie: That’s just some old dog that hangs around the bar sometime. He must live nearby.
Bill: Well, no doubt.
[Sookie tries to help Bill take off the things on his arms but Bill pulls away.]
Sookie: I reckon you’re not too happy about being rescued by a woman.
Bill: Thank you.
[High-pitched ringing. Sookie is trying to read Bill’s thoughts but can’t.]
Sookie: I can’t hear you.
Bill: Thank you.
Sookie: No, no, no. I can hear you, but I can’t – -
[She gets closer to Bill]
Sookie: Oh, my stars.
Bill: Aren’t you afraid to be out here alone with a hungry vampire?
Sookie: No.
Bill: Vampires often turn on those who trust them, you know. We don’t have human values like you.
Sookie: A lot of humans turn on those who trust them too.
[Sookie takes the silver chain and wraps it around her neck.]
Sookie: I’m not a total fool.
Bill: Oh, but you have other very juicy arteries. There’s one in the groin that’s a particular favorite of mine.
Sookie: Hey, you just shut your nasty mouth, mister. You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am.
[Bill scoffs]
Bill: You wanna drink the blood they collected?
Sookie: No.
Bill: I understand it makes humans feel more healthy. Improves their sex life.
Sookie: I’m as healthy as a horse. And I have no sex life to speak of, so – -you can just keep it.
Bill: You could always sell it.
Sookie: I wouldn’t touch it.
[Bill gets up quickly and comes to Sookie]
[Music playing]
Bill: What are you?
Sooke: Well… I – I’m – - I’m Sookie Stackhouse and I’m a waitress. What’s your name?
Bill: Bill.
[giggles]
Sookie: Bill? I – - I thought it might be Antoine or Basil or – - Or, heh – - or, like, Langord, maybe. But, Bill?
[laughs]
Sookie: Vampire Bill. Oh, my. So… Silver, huh? I thought that only affected werewolves. I-I-I’m not implying that werewolves exist. I mean, that’s just what you always see in the movies.
Bill: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share this information with anyone. We don’t like for our weaknesses to be made public knowledge.
Sookie: Yeah, okay. Well, see ya, Bill. I gotta get back to work.
[country music playing]
Sam: Sookie. Thank God.
[Sam sighs]
Sam: You okay?
Sookie: I’m fine. And, for your information, not all vampires can take care of themselves.
[sighs]

[Later that night inside, everyone is leaving work]
Arlene: Night, Sam.
Sam: Night.
Arlene: Night, Tara.
Tara: Night.
Sam: Thanks for helping me out tonight, Tara.
Tara: How much you gonna pay me?
Sam: Uh, 20 bucks?
Tara: Sam. How do you expect me to work here for 20 bucks a night?
Sam: I don’t expect you to work here. You only covered tonight for what, an hour at the most?
Tara: Yeah, but Sam. If I did work here – -
Sam: It’d be a matter of time before you went off on somebody. I don’t wanna drive my customers away.
Tara: I only go off on stupid people.
Sam: Most of my customers are stupid people.
Tara: Yeah, but – - I could help you keep an eye on Sookie. You see the way she was looking at that vampire. That is just trouble looking for a place to happen. And she means too much to both of us to let anything happen to her.
Sam: All right. Be here tomorrow at 8. And learn this on your own. I don’t have time to train you.
Tara: Sam, I was mixing whiskey sours for my mama when I was in first grade. It’s just like riding a bicycle.
Sam: That’s fucked up.
Tara: You think? My mama crazy.
Sam: Damn, girl.
Jason: Hey, Sam, is my sister here?
Sam: No, Sookie already went home.
Tara: Hi, Jason.
Jason: Hey.
Tara: Uh, my name is Tara. Been your sister’s best friend since kindergarten? I used to sleep over at your house for, like, years.
Jason: I know who you are.
Tara: You better know who I am.
Dawn: Well, hello, stranger.
Jason: Hey.
[giggles]
Jason: Dawn. Come here.
Dawn: Mm. Mm-mm.
Jason: Look at you. You look great.
[Dawn giggles]
Jason: How you been?
Dawn: Fine.
Jason: Partyin’. So you ain’t mad at me?
[giggles]
Dawn: Why would I be mad at you?
Jason: Well, for not calling. You know. The usual.
Dawn: Jason, baby. I ain’t got no expectations of you. I’m not an idiot.
[giggles]
Jason: Hey, what time do you get off work?
Dawn: Well, I don’t know. Oh, well, right now.
Jason: You want to go somewhere?
Dawn: Well, yeah, I do.
Jason: Mm-hm.
Dawn: I want to go home.
[giggles]
Dawn: Good night, Tara.
[Scoffs]
Tara: Oh, my God. You are a gigantic parody of yourself and you don’t even know it.
Jason: Great seeing you, Tara, good luck.
Tara: Good luck? Good luck with what?
[Door shuts]
Tara: Shit.

[Sookie’s house]
Sookie: Hey, Gran.
Gran: Hi, honey.
Sookie: Guess what happened tonight?
Gran: You got a date?
Sookie: Um, no. A vampire came into the bar.
[gasps]
Gran: Did he have fangs?
Sookie: Yeah, but most of the time they stayed put away.
Gran: Did he bite anybody?
Sookie: No. Uh, he just had a glass of wine. Well, he ordered it, but didn’t drink it. I think he just wanted some company.
Gran: Did you like him?
Sookie: He was real interesting.
Gran: Hm.
Sookie: I’ll let you get to bed.
Gran: Mm. Okay, honey. I just stayed up until you got here.
Sookie: Come on, Tina.
[Meows]
[Gran chuckles]

[Purring - Sookie is sleeping in here bed - music playing - Wind whistling - Sookie looks out her window and sees Bill - Sookie runs outside looking around for Bill. He appears behind her.]
[ She gasps]
Sookie: Hello.
[Bill starts to take off his shirt.]
Sookie: I never thought I would be having sex with you. At least – - not so fast.
Bill: Who said anything about sex?
[gasps]
[Sookie wakes up with a start]

[the next day Sookie is laying out in the sun]
[country music playing on radio]
[Jason pulls up in his truck]
Jason: Hey, How come you didn’t tell me you beat up the Rattrays last night?
Sookie: I haven’t seen you since then.
Jason: Where’s Gran?
Sookie: Hanging the laundry out back. And you keep your voice down. I don’t want her to know about any of this?
Jason: Fortenberry couldn’t wait till I got to work this morning to tell me all about it.
Sookie: Hoyt Fortenberry?
Jason: Mm-hm.
Sookie: How the heck does he know?
Jason: He went over to the Rats last night to buy some weed. And Denise drove up like she wanted to kill somebody she was so mad. The only way she would sell him any weed was if he would drive Mack to the hospital in Monroe.
Sookie: Uh-huh. Well, did Hoyt tell you that Mack came after me with a knife?
Jason: Motherfucker. You want me to kick his ass?
Sookie: I already took care of that, thank you.
Jason: What are you doing messing with him anyway?
Sookie: Well, did you know that in addition to dealing drugs the Rats also happen to be vampire drainers? Yep. One of my customers last night was a vampire, and they were draining him out in the parking lot. I couldn’t have that.
Jason: Sookie, you do not want to get mixed up with vampires. Trust me.
Sookie: Oh, shut up. Even if you hate vampires, you can’t let trash like the Rats go and drain them. It’s not like siphoning gas out of a car. They would have left him in the woods to die.
Jason: Who fucking cares? He’s already dead.
Sookie: That’s not his fault.
Jason: What did he look like?
Sookie: Handsome in a sort of – - Sort of old-fashioned, like from a movie on TCM.
Jason: Was he bald-headed?
Sookie: No. He had really nice hair.
Jason: Tattoos?
Jason: None that I could see.
Gran: Jason.
Jason: Gran.
Gran: Ha-ha. Sakes alive, boy. Where have you been keeping yourself? You get on over here and hug my neck.
Jason: You get here, Gran. Ah. How’s my girl?
Gran: You’re all sweaty.
Jason: I know.
Gran: You want some ice tea?
Jason: I would love some ice tea.
Gran: Here, I got it. Ah.

[Inside the house. Sookie and Jason are eating]
Jason: Mm. Want the rest of that?
Sookie: Yes.
[Jason takes sookie food anyways]
Jason: Thank you.
[gasps]
Jason: Mm. If you’re gonna wear that suit, you might want to start watching what you eat.
[laughs]
Jason: You look nice.
[A phone beeps off]
Gran: That was Evalee Mason. Guess who was found strangled to death in her apartment. Maudette Pickens.
Oh, my Lord.
Gran: She didn’t show up for work. Wasn’t answering her phone. And so her boss called Bud Dearborne, he rode over, got the manager to let him in and they found her.
Sookie: I went to high school with Maudette.
Gran: Can you believe it? A murder in Bon Temps.
Jason: Well, why are you surprised now that we got ourselves a vampire?
Sookie: Just because he’s a vampire doesn’t mean he’s a murderer.
Jason: Oh, come on. Fang-bangers go missing all the time in Shreveport, New Orleans. They never find them but everybody knows the vampires are killing them and then disposing of the bodies.
Gran: What’s a fang-banger?
Sookie: A vampire groupie. Men and Women who like to get bitten.
Gran: My stars.
Sookie: Maudette was a fang-banger? How do you know that?
Jason: I don’t know, Sookie. The way that you just know things sometimes.
[dishes clattering]
Jason: There’s also hookers who specialize in vampires. They drink Tru Blood to keep their supply up, and they keep a bodyguard there in case the vamp gets a little too frisky. I read that in a magazine.
Gran: Wonder how much one would charge for something like that.
Jason: A thousand bucks.
Sookie: See, now that just makes me sick.
Jason: I know. What kind of cheap woman could ever do something like that?
Sookie: No, it makes me sick that they’re getting a thousand bucks to lay there and do nothing while I bust my ass for 10 bucks an hour plus tips.
Jason: Oh, I don’t think they just lay there. I think they’re expected to, you know, participate.
Sookie: Ew.
[Sookie is looking at Jason like she wants to read his thoughts.]
Jason: Well, um, ahem, thanks for lunch, Gran.
[Jason leaves the room and Sookie follows him.]
Jason: What? What?
[She grabs him and starts to read his thoughts.] Jason: This can’t be happening to me. How could I lose control like that? How come she – -? Jason: Don’t try that with me, goddamn it. I’m your brother. I got to get back to work.

[Scene goes to Jason at work. He and others work for the Louisiana DOT.]
[music]
[indistinct shouting]
Jason: Please? Come on, Dawn. I’m having a really bad day.
Dawn: That is not my responsibility.
Jason: Didn’t we have a good time? And don’t you want to have that again?
Dawn: Look, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you are not my only source for a good time.
Jason: No, but I am the best one.
Dawn: Oh, my God, you’re so full of shit.
[chuckles]
Jason: But I’m hot.
Dawn: So am I.
Jason: Yeah, I know, I know.
[We see two cars pulling up to the work site.]
Jason: That’s why I’m on the phone with you.
Dawn: Oh, all right, I give up. You can meet me after work.
Jason: I gotta go. I’ll call you back.
[man shouting, door to a car shuts]
Jason: Hey, Sheriff Dearborne. Andy.
Sheriff Dearborne: Afternoon, Jason.
Jason: There something I can help you with?
Sheriff Dearborne: You know Maudette Pickens?
Jason: Yeah, sure, I know her. I buy stuff at the Grabbit Quik. She works there during the day.
Andy: How would you characterize your relationship with Maudette?
Jason: Relationship? I didn’t have a relationship with her. I barely even knew her.
Sheriff Dearborn: So you’re aware she was murdered last night?
Jason: Uh, no. Wow. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I did know that. My grandmother told me at lunch. Somebody called her.
Rene: What’s up with Jason and the law?
Hoyt: Maybe they think he knows something about Maudette.
Andy: You ever visit Maudette at her apartment?
Jason: Me? No.
Sheriff Dearborn: Ever?
Jason: No. Boys, I could do a lot better than Maudette Pickens, believe me.
[chuckles]
Andy: You weren’t there last night?
Jason: Last night. Uh – - Okay, yeah, I was there last night.
Andy: Hey. Then why didn’t you say so?
Jason: What?
Sheriff Dearborn: Then why didn’t you say so?
Jason: Because I know she got killed and I thought it would look bad me having been at her place.
Andy: Well, it does look bad, Jason. It looks real bad.
Jason: Okay, look. I hooked up with Maudette last night, we had sex.
Andy: That’s all. How would you characterize the sex?
Jason: Uh. It was okay.
Andy: Nothing out of the ordinary?
Jason: Well, uh – -
Andy: Because we’ve already seen the videotape. You didn’t know she was taping it?
Jason: No. But I should have.
Sherriff Dearborn: You need to come with us, Jason.
Jason: Um, just let me tell Rene to take over. I’ll be right back.
Andy: (whispers) I hate that little shit.
[indistinct shouting]
Jason: Hey, Rene. I gotta go into town for a while. You’ll take over?
Rene: Yeah, yeah. Everything all right?
Jason: Yeah. No, it’s nothing to worry about. Don’t tell my sister. Everything’s fine. Oh.
Hoyt: Hey, What’d you do, Jason?
Rene: What the fuck.
Hoyt: Huh?
[Indistinct shouting]

[Sookie’s house]
[knocking on door]
Sookie: What’s up Gran?
Gran: Oh, I was wondering how old you think the vampire is. The one you met last night.
Sookie: I have no idea. Why?
Gran: You think he might remember the war?
Sookie: The Civil War? Mm-hm. Could be.
Gran: Oh, if he does I would love to have him come speak to to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead.
Sookie: I think he might have a hard time showing up at the public library at noon on a Thursday.
[gasps]
Gran: We could have a special meeting at night. Or he could just come talk to me and I could tape his recollections. Heh-heh. Oh, I am sure the others would find it so interesting.
Sookie: I’ll ask him next time he comes into Merlott’s.
[gasps]
Sookie: If he comes in.

[Rock music playing on radio]
Hoyt: For all the beans.
Rene: Aw, baby.
Arlene: You can do better than that.
Rene: Oh, baby.
[laughing]
Man at bar: Hey.
Lafayett: Hey. Hooker. How you doin’? What you doin’ here?
Tara: I work here.
Lafayett: Oh, no, the hell you don’t.
Tara: Oh, yes, the hell I do too, you ugly bitch. You need to make peace with that.
Lafayette: Shit, Sam must have lost his damn mind, because you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually got to interact with people.
Tara: That is so no true.
[Man at Bar snaps at Tara]
Tara: Uh-uh. Do – do not snap at me. I have a name. And that name is Tara. Hah. And isn’t that funny? Black girl being named after a plantation.
[The man chuckles]
Tara: No, I don’t think it’s funny. In fact, it really pisses me off that my mama was either stupid or just plain mean, which is why you better be nice if you plan on getting a drink tonight.
Guy at Bar: Sorry, ma’am.
Tara: Okay.
Lafayette: Hey
Tara: Mm.
Lafayette: Do you know if Sookie found out anything about her brother getting arrested this afternoon?
Tara: Jason got arrested?
Lafayette: uh-huh.
Tara: For what?
Lafayette: I ain’t sure, but Maudette Pickens did get found murdered.
Tara: Are you serious?
Lafayette: Mm-hm.
Tara: Jason couldn’t kill anybody. And he can do a hell of a lot better than Maudette Pickens.
Lafayette: Look at you. You still got a thing for him.
Tara: I do not. He’s too damn stuck-up for me.
Lafayette: That boy is sex on a stick. I don’t give a good damn how stuck-up he is. How you doin’? Look at you. Heh.
Tara: Scaring the white boy.
Lafayette: Ain’t nobody scaring him. He too big to be scared. I likes a big man. Look at that belly.
Tara: Don’t you have something to fry?
Lafayette: You can be my Santa Claus. Uh. Mm. I’ll see you later.
Tara: Mm-hm.
Lafayette: I’m in the phone book.

[Back of Merlotte’s]
Sookie: Arrested? For what?
Dawn: I don’t know.
Lafayette: Sook. Sorry about your brother.
Sookie: How come everybody knew about this before I did?
Lafayette: Well, I was there, baby girl. I saw him get carted away.
Dawn: And I was complaining to Arlene about Jason hanging up on me when we were making a date and not calling me back, and that’s when she told me.
Sookie: Arlene? How does she know?
Dawn: Well, I guess Rene told her. Besides, we figured you’d just- -
Sookie: I just what?
Dawn: Sweetie, didn’t you just know already?
Sookie: I am not psychic.
[near the pool tables]
Hoyt: Damn, you suck, Rene.
[laughs]
Rene: Quite you.
Arlene: I cannot believe I am here on my night off. Just pouring my hard earned money back into Sam Merlotte’s pocket.
[laughs]
Sookie: What happened to my brother, Rene?
Rene: Aw-w-w-w, hell. I promised him I wasn’t going to tell ya-you.
Sookie: What happened?
Hoyt: Oh, uh, well, uh, Bud Dearborne and Andy Bellefleur, uh- – They asked him some questions, and then they threw him in the back of the squad car.
Sookie: So you don’t even know for a fact that they arrested him?
Rene: Well, they- – they didn’t cuff him or nothing’.
Arlene: Sookie, I am so sorry.
Sookie: For what? Y’all are already acting like Jason’s been convicted of killing Maudette, and we don’t even know what they were talking to him about. Bud Dearborne just made a mistake. That’s all.
Hoyt: Yeah. It has to be, because Jason’s a real standup guy.
Sookie: No, he’s not, Hoyt. He is selfish, egotistical, and a complete horndog. But he is not a killer.
[music playing as Sookie turns and see Bill] Tara: Now, just look at that, like she’s walking down the aisle, on her goddamn wedding day. Honey, just ‘cause…
[voices echoing] Sam: He’s got her in his sights. I need to protect her.
Woman thoughts: That’s that vampire she saved last night.
Tara: Sookie, please do no – - Bill: Good evening, Miss Stackhouse. Man: It ain’t right, him being here with normal people. No, she’s going to sit – -
Woman 2: I always thought she was nice, but I just wonder what kind of good Christian girl would even look at a vampire – Man 2: I don’t think he looks that kind of scary to me.
Lafayette: Looks like she likes ‘em tall, dark, and dead.
Man 3: Stackhouse family ain’t nothing but trash. [voices echoing]
[Sookie takes Bill’s hand and the voices fade away]
[Rock music playing on radio]
Sookie: Your hand is cool.
Bill: Yes, uh – - I’m afraid I’m not as warm as the men that you must be accustomed to.
Sookie: What men?
[scoffs]
Sookie: What can I get for you tonight?
Bill: What are you?
Sookie: I told you. I’m a waitress.
Bill: No. You’re something more than that. You’re something more than human.
Sookie: I beg your pardon?
Bill: Sookie. That’s an unusual name, Sookie. Is it short for something else?
Sookie: Nope. Just – - just plain Sookie.
Bill: May I call on you sometime?
Sookie: Call on me?
Bill: Uh, may I come and visit with you at your home?
Sookie: Sure. My grandmother would love to meet you. Oh, that reminds me. Can I talk to you after work? I have a favor to ask you.
Bill: Of course. After all, I – - I am in your debt.
Sookie: Not a favor for me. For my grandmother. If you’ll be up – - well – -I guess you will be. Would you mind meeting me around the back of the bar when I get off at – - Probably around 1:30?
Bill: I’d be delighted. Do you realize that every person in this establishment is staring at us right now?
Sookie: Oh, they’re just staring at me because my brother’s in some kind of trouble with the police. But Bill, did you know Maudette Pickens?
Bill: I did not. They are staring at us because I am a vampire. And you are mortal.
Sookie: Well, who cares what they think?
Bill: Well, I want to make this town my home, so I do. I’ll see you at 1:30.
[voices echoing] Arlene: Run away as fast as your legs can take you.
Man 4: This is wrong, it’s wrong, I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I just want to watch them do it, damn.
Woman 2: He hypnotized her. I heard they can do that just by looking at you. [voices echoing]
Someone: I’m telling Reverend- -
[voices stop]
[Sam grabs Sookies arm and drags her to his office]
Sam: Sookie, you’re being a very stupid girl.
Sookie: Who asked you? I – I can take care of myself.
Sam: I don’t think so. Mack could have cut you up last night.
Sookie: How do you know what Mack would have done?
Sam: Now you settin’ up a date with a vampire. What do you have, a death wish?
Sookie: No, I don’t have a death wish. I just happen to think judging an entire group of people based on the actions of a few individuals within that group is morally wrong.
Sam: Well, I will not let you put yourself or this bar in danger. I won’t.
Sookie: Am- -? Am I fired?
Sam: No. But next time you think somebody’s being harmed in the parking lot, pick up the phone and call the police. Do not go out there alone like a goddamn vigilante?
[Sookie starts to cry.]
Sam: Oh, Chere.
[Sookie is sobbing. Sam gives her a hug]
Sam: Hey, hey. Don’t you know I couldn’t stand to lose you? Sam: Feels so warm, I can’t help it. I want you. Damn. You smell so good. I love the way you smell. I love you, Sookie, and I always have. I want to tell you the truth – - [Tara comes in mad]
Tara: Are you out of your ever-loving mind? That vampire wants you for dinner. Well, I won’t let you just walk into his trap. No, ma’am, over my dead body. You mean too much to me. Tara: Don’t you look at me like that when I’m only looking out for you. I never noticed how much you and Jason have the same eyes. Such sweet eyes. He could never kill anybody. Sookie: Oh, for heaven’s sakes, Tara. Jason is never going to care about you the way you care about him.
Tara: What the fuck – -? You – -you made a promise. You stay out of my head. Sam: I know how hard for her it’s got to be.
Tara: Maybe Jason will get shook up by this whole Maudette – - Sookie: Oh, just shut up the both of you, and stop bossing me around! I am a grown woman and I am the one who decides what I do, not either one of you.
[Sookie pushes past the two of them]
Tara: Hm.

[Later that night - Merlotte’s is closing - We see Sookie and Sam outside]
Sam: Sookie.
Sookie: Sam.
Sam: You want me to wait with you until – -?
Sookie: Go home, Sam.
Sam: Good night.
[Sam walks off - we see that Sam’s house is a trailer behind the bar - Sookie walks to her car - rustling]
[Sookie is pushed to the ground - two people start to kick her - we see blood poring from Sookie’s face]

BLACKOUT [multitude of different people’s thoughts]